A Dysney castle in Germany? And Sweet little Salzburg

Before I get started on this leg of the journey…I’d just like to give a big great high five to all those that have put comments up onto my blog. It’s great hearing from you guys and it keeps me writting since I know people are reading it.

Aaaaaand to all those that haven’t posted anything yet…A little green man is coming for your first borns……

On my way through Germany I made a stop at a place called Neuschwanstein…now you may ask yourself…Uh…what the hell is that fucking mess of a name of a place…well students…first off raise ur hand(raises hand) that´s better…well Neuschwanstein is actually built by the crazy Kind Ludwig the second…it´s also the model that Disney based the castle at Disneyworld after…ya no jokes…take a look a the picture and u´ll see the resemblance.


See what I mean?

See what I mean?



So that´s our small history lesson for the day.

Before heading into Austria I made a quick layover in Munich…and after Oktoberfest this place seems dead. A perfect example of this, was when I ventured down to the Oktoberfest grounds…holy ghost town…the place was like something off a creepy walk through a haunted amusement park…sooo dead. It´s mind blowing to think that only weeks before they had thousands of people grazing this very site. I was also shocked to find out that the beer halls get taken down. They seemed like real halls that stayed there all year long…nope…it costs a million euros to put up and take down.


Ghostly looking

Ghostly looking



Righto…changing gears…time to slooooooow…thiiiiiiiiings….doooooooown.

We are going to enter the magical, musical, mystery tour of Salzburg. The home of mozart, the sound of music, rolling greenery hills and some of the best chocolate I´ve ever tasted. This quiet little city is really home to the term relax and endulge…if you´re thinking…um…ya…I´ve never heard that term before…well you little dears…ahem… now you have. Anyways, it´s another city seperated by water(hey I´m not getting tired of them I just have really nothing to compare them to) Even with the water seperation…it´s a very tiny city with everything accesible by walking.

A great city to detach yourself from life…you can walk fifteen minutes to the other side of the hills and honestly forget that you´re in a city…all the plush grass, misty clouds and sun basking against the water…I actually forgot who I was and what I was doing there…buuuuut that´s a story for a different time.

Salzburg also has one of the oldest breweries in the area. Nestled atop one of the hills, is a former Monk monestery that has been brewing beer for centuries. They still pour the beer directly out of the barrell into your humongous stone stein.


Huge beer pouring stein

Huge beer pouring stein



Then once you sip the goldeny little liquid…think Old Schools Frank the Tank…outstanding beer. Unfortunately, it´s turned into quite the tourist draw , so some of the original flava flave is gone. Still you gotta go for the beer, but don´t take the long strenious, half an hour steep crevas hike of destruction to get there…take the nice simply faryland path created for the tourists.


Mmm more beer

Mmm more beer



Ahhh(takes a deep mellow breath)…now who likes crystals??? Anyone?…Anyone?…Bhuuuuler?

If you haven´t heard of Swarovski crystals, then by god I´m going to send a mutant space chimp from the galactical regions of bohemia to bite you…that is…if I could afford it. Alright enough fucking around…Swarovski is only the biggest crystal producer in the world…damn…so my point is…I went to the original spot for Swarovski Crystals. Swarovski Crystal worlds.

 It’s an underground former crystal excavation cave, turned into a museum. The entrace is really the coolest thing though. It´s a massive grass face, with a fountain coming out of the mouth and crystal eyes that change colours.

Inside the cave is an eye spectacle that can´t be explained and pictures cannot justify. I tried taking the best pictures possible, but it still doesn´t give the magnitude of the place. Inside the cave houses the worlds biggest cut crystal, the worlds largest wall of crystals, a spherical crystal room, and tons of other trippy shit that can´t be explained.

Walking around this place for a couple hours…ya my senses were definitely stimulated…mmm…stimulation…optical illusions, animation and crystilization up the wazoo baby. A definite recomendation, even if you’re not a crystal fan…there’s some parks and mazes too.

Alright…so here´s the breakdown. If you like classical shit like mozart, and different art, and just a relaxing place, then cool, Salzburg is definitely for you. However, if you´re down to party, do crazy shit and get all jacked up on Mountain Dew…then Salzburg…not so much. Still, I love Mozart and the crystal caves are(place whatever crazy explanatorical word you want here) so take it as you will.


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