I Walked 5 Hundred Miles

Arriving in Florence, I just expected to walk around the city, see the sites and then take off the next day. I hadn’t planned on going on a journey of journifications. And that journey my friends was Cinque Terre.

Buuuut before I start on that story…It’s Florence time. There’s mixed reviews about the place, but I felt it was worthwhile to check out. After walking around the city, I wasn’t thoroughly impressed. Basically I felt it was just an ordinary European city, with a few key attractions (the David).

However, I didn’t partake in a Florentine pub crawl, therefore I wan’t able to get a full grasp of the city, but I did find a museum about serial killers…pretty chilling shit right there. Some of these characters I didn’t even know about. You ever hear of the killer clown? Ya man…its a real person, the dude dressed up as a clown and tricked kids into coming to his house.

Spooky clown

Spooky clown

Alrighty then…onto the juicy stuff…Cinque Terre. The views, the water, the cliffs, the paths…the fucking five hour walk. Enough to give a dead person an orgasm.

Basically this place is sheer glory sprinkled with some heavenly juices in the upper corner of Italy(touching France) There’s these five towns overlooking the water, on little jets of land, connected by a tiny little goat path…that’s uphill bothways…wearing your grandpa’s pajamas(sorry…old Tim Hortons commercial)

Anyway, this place was just on sheer coincidence that I partook. This sweet little goddess of a girl invited me and for god’s sake am I ever glad that I accepted.

Arriving, I was astonished to see the glistening water and the small little town nestled into the side of the mountain…ahhhh…this is how life should be lived, over looking the water, breathing in that magnificient sea air…well…onto the trek.

I'm the King of the World


Supposevely starting at the top of the towns and working your way to the bottom is the best way…hahaha…I don’t think there is an easy way…unless of course you puss out and decide to take the train (cough…cough)

The funniest part during this gruleing walk of destruction, was the little buzz ball of a chick who keeps wizzing ahead and pushing the pace…I thought I was in decent shape from walking all over Europe…well turns out…ya…NAWT. I’ve never had sweat flowing from my body as it did this very day, don’t get me wrong, the views…there are none like it…the chick pushing the pace like she was training for the million dollar man marython…ya I could’ve done without.

Oh best part too…was when I decided to get in front…you know…slow things down just a weeee bit. What do you think happens?…Hahaha, she asks to get back infront…but saying, “Oh it’s not about the pace…I just like it up here”. Ohhhhh suuuuuure.

Personally, this excursion would be best done over a couple of days. You will be able to relax a little, and enjoy most of the towns…which I cannont stress enough, are the quaintest little things ever.

Still the most shinning moment of the day, was having the best yogourt ice cream I’ve ever layed my lips or tongue to. At first, I wasn’t going to try it. For one, I can get yogourt ice cream back home, two…I wanted Gelato. Well the dude that was partaking in the days events, let me taste a tinsy bit of his lemon yogourt ice cream…made with real bits of lemon…so you know its good…and…Living La Vida Loca…it was like extending to you a party with the mouth…uh…a mouth party…um…party mouth(Anchorman quotes…sorry it slipped)

Also the guy at the store…nicest man ever. He had crazy stories about how he used to be a captain of the huge cruise ships, and places he’s travelled, and of how he creates all the ingridents and yogourt fresh. Wow, all I could do was get a picture with the guy…unfortunately…he doesn’t like to smile.

The Yogourt Cream man

The Yogourt Cream man

So after I down a large, and the others I’m with down about two each…we’re good and ready to finish our last town…or so I thought.

Turns out as we are waiting for the train, the feet pulsating from sooo much walking, the calves cringing from never seing so many rocky slopes, the other guy in our group looks down at his map…and…whoops…we’ve only been to four towns…not all five. Ok…Ok…I understand it wouldn’t have been cinque terre without that final town…so I bring myself back from the brink of utter destruction to push on.

At first we head in the wrong direction, but after talking to some Canadians who I met earlier they direct us to where we need to go. Or again…so I thought. Personally, after going on this trip, my navigational skills have increased ten fold. To put this in perspective…I had a real tough time reading a map before I left…nice eh. Anywho, the couple said, go to the train station and stay left. So going to the train station I say to the group, we need to keep heading this way…they all said, we need to stay left. More of them…only one of me, so guess who wins.

The steps of doom

The steps of doom

No big deal, we push on. Until we walk for about…hmmm…lets see…half an hour…when the place was about fifteen minutes away. Yaaaa…also this wasn’t an easy walk…where it was described as…flaaaaaaaat. Finally, we get to a fork in the road with a sign saying, route number two up a mountain, route six off to no mans land. Again, I say to the group, this doesn’t seem right, and once again…the group wins out.

Buuuuuuut I get the last laugh…turns out…we headed an hour in the wrong direction and make our way back to where I originally stated. Hmmm…guess I’m not as dumb as I look. Still, it was pretty cool, walking along a steep slope during the dusk, seeing the golden crested sun descending upon the still ocean waters.

you can't see the sun...buut i can

you can

Aaaaaaaaaand still folks…that’s not it. The day can’t possibly be completed there…oh no. We had one more stop…PISA. Yes…to see the leaning tower at night. Also, it’s probably the best time to see it (other then early morning) as it was bare…no darn tourists heads in my fucking shot.
The only down side is, you can’t see much of the city, as basically everything shuts down at night, buuuut damn…look at that fucking leaning tower. N yes…no lame touristy…oh lookit me I’m touching the leaning tower, but actually I’m not.
(Yes ur right, the boner pose was too hard to try and shoot)
Coolest Shot

Coolest Shot


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