The Moon, The Man, The Mayhem

You can’t possibly go through Thailand without hearing the magical name of this island. The coo and the caw…the hum and the ha…the moon…the party…

Ladies and gentleman…boys and girls…(stillness)

The Chocolate room…

oops sorry wrong place…

ahem…

Koh Phangan

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Come with me… and you’ll be… in a woooorld of pure inebriation,

Take a look and you’ll see the complete and utter sexication

Anyway…enough of that…on to the juicy stuff.

So this island is basically known as “THE” Party island. When the full moon comes around there is barely anyone who isn’t making their way to this island.  Therefore this was my most highly anticipated stop to date.

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My first welcome to this island, was the swarms of people grabbing at you to come to their guest house or whatever. After you push them away it’s like you’re back in the city, as cars and scooters zoom and zip past from all angles. Still, once I got to my bungalow(after making sure I wasn’t put in the papier mache one) all was good.

view from bungalow

view from bungalow

The night I arrived was the Half Moon party. Almost as good as the full moon, but slightly different…this baby is in the fucking jungle…ahh ya…get your rat out bitches.

This is the most unique party atmosphere I’ve ever been to. You’re in the middle of the fucking jungle, enormous tree’s surround you, DJ’s spinning house all night, a dancefloor the size of Bill Gates bathroom(google that shit if you don’t believe how big it is), sweaty people all around and the experience of being on an island in 25 degree weather during the middle of December…UN…FUCKING…REAL.

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I danced, chatted, drank, smoked, kissed and made a fool of myself throughout the entire night. Still…I felt the Half Moon party was intense and sweet, but I wanted more.

the funniest part of the night was when I saw some dude grab assing a chick, she turns around and with one punch…POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER…the guy hits the deck and is out cold. Just to note…because I just know ur thinking it…the guy…it wasn’t me

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After killing the hangover and soaking up the rays on the beach all day it was time to saunter down to Hat Rinn and take a gander at what was up for the night. (Just to note…if you go and decide to stay in Hat Rinn, you’ll party tons, but it’s not very quiet…I had a nice secluded beach area 10 min away)

That night was listed as another great party I kept hearing about…the sweaty fiesta that is…the pool party at Coral Bungalows.

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Just the name…pool party, makes every guy picture these, flowing hair, perfectly formed breasted, silky smoothed skined beauties wearing skimpy bikinis…up for basically anything…and if not…ahem…well…guess that’s just me. Anyway…I actually have proof that what we all think…because when I turned up…I literally thought I walked into a gay bar. All guys…so…maybe its a chicks paradise…hmmm…but I’ve never seen 60 guys dancing alone on a dancefloor…that is…until now…and please…I never want to see that again.

no more sausage!!!

no more sausage!!!

The best part of the night…was the convo I had with this British chick and her two friends. Funniest part was when the one blonde girl, who was all over my friend Jaime found out he had a girlfriend. She became the biggest bitch in the whole wide world and wanted to go to sleep…only downside…she took my little cutie with her. Second party night down…big time bust.

One thing I noticed aside from the partying was the amount of stray dogs. I’d seen strays elsewhere before, but the dogs here were everywhere and uber territorial. One day, my friend Jamie even got bit by one of the fucking rabid dogs…lucky for him…it didn’t break the flesh, but holy turd nuggets was I ever scared walking past the raging barking dogs.

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The coolest thing about the dogs was, if they were friendly they would follow you around and kind of protect you…or get the shit bit out of them for stepping over their boundaries…it was crazy…like dog gang war fare. We even had a competing dog gang try and over throw the dog gang at our bungalows…pretty gruesome shit…but our dogs one in the end…I even gave one a congratulatory beef stick.

Aaaaaand now…in rolls the Black Moon party…

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Christmas Eve and on the beach…niiiiice. It wasn’t on Hat Rinn, but it was super close to our bungalow so I was stoked. Me and six others, grabbed some booze and started the pre game shenanigans on our own beach until we headed down to the main gig.

Unfortunately…this gig had a cover charge…ya…WTF mate…sooo I just walked through the gates like I owned the place. Buuuuut that got me escorted right back through where I came and demanding me to pay. Uh…fuck that…so I looked for a new way in…and low and behold…climbed a fench and just like Houdini….TADAAAAAH…I’m in.

However, my posse of friends all decide…they’re not stooping to my low level of sneaking into the Black Moon party….well…your loss fuckers…time to DANCE.

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Well I begin my antics…dancing, kicking up sand, making out with a chick from Holland, consequently loosing her to her passed out friend, getting hit on by a lady boy, making a sand castle, saving a passed out guy from drowning in the ocean, dancing some more, chatting to some swedish chicks that don’t understand me and then going home at 5:30 am. Mmmmm pretty sweet Christmas Eve…can’t say I do that everyday.

That was a muuuch better party, but the Big Bertha of parties is still to come…

Christmas Day…

All Day…

Had Rinn Beach…

I started around 9am…still quite groggy from the night before…I checked out the Black Moon after party…pretty good…too many old people…next was off to another beach…then back to my own to chill for a couple hours.

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That night me and everyone from the night before had a great…all you can eat…thai BBQ for Christmas dinner. Cost me four dollars and I ate enough to feed ethiopia…ya I’m the caring type.

Now…time to get some more drinks in us and head down to the magical beach of mayhem…the beach that is world renouned…the beach that people will probably never be able to swim in again, the beach that is constantly scattered with debree…the beach of the party…

THE ONE…

THE ONLY…

HAT RINN

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Now my friends…this is the party I was waiting for…no more all sausage extravaganza…no more half assing it…this was the big time.

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Still not the full size of the Full Moon(the northend was pretty empty) but I had a blast. Prolly six different bars playing music…booze galore…skimpy dressed girls…Christmas hats…sand on my feet…stars in the sky…fire’s a blazing. Merry Motherfucking Christmas.

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