Australia Day…Birthday…what more to say

wake-up

I wake up wide awake at 5am…holy shit I say to myself…sweat pouring off like water running down glass. That was some of the most fucked up shit ever. I roll off the top bunk…turn up the fan…go drop ALL of the Cosby kids off at the pool, then try and go back to sleep…a small smile washing over my face…the past two days…were something else…

The party started Sunday…at around 4pm. Place was packed…well…not just packed…FUCKING PACKED.
I was shocked at how many people were already there boozing it up when I arrived. I had just never seen something of the sorts…for…well…a National Holiday. Damn…Australians really do go all out.

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I met up with some friends I’ve met whilst here, along with a friend from a few years back. We drank, danced, laughed, chanted and did whatever you do when you get drinks in you with a whole mess of people.

This night was the…face to face…chest to chest…cheek to cheek…mouth to mouth…with more then enough Australian girls….Majority…blonde…but lucky ol me…I was able to find a cute red head…unfortunately for me…she had a boyfriend…oh…I also met a Brazilian…nice girl…opted out of a hand job in the bathroom tho…hahaha…couldn’t help myself.

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This intense moterfuck of a party continued until 3am. I was bouncing around, dancing here, chatting there…meeting people left and right and learning that I sound Irish…uhh…WTF?

I After spending 11 hours at this one enormous bars…everyone wanted to change venues. Turns out on a Sunday its gay night at one of Brisbane’s biggest clubs…hmmm free drinks…possibility…the cab ride there…hmmm…money’s drained. Looks like I’m taking a pass…great night tho.

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now…the…BIG OL 21….

Yes…(takes in breath…looks around…runs hands through massive monster of hair…give a little stretch…and a bend…dip my toe in jacuzzi baby.) 21 years old…so guess I’m now supposed to be “mature” or something….hmmm….What’s my age again?

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Well…lets go get my two one on.

I step outside and immediately witness Australia Day firsthand…an Australian guy puking in the street…”hey mate wait up”, he yells running after his friend…hmmm lets see…meat…carrots…what the fuck is that?

I look at my watch…9:30am…niiiice…theres no fucking around on Australia Day.(or is there?)

Here’s the quick breakdown of what Australia Day is all about(for all those that don’t know)

For us Canadians out there…Its like Canada Day, except more booze, more craziness and everyone everywhere is having a BBQ.

All you others…its a time to get drunk with friends, have a BBQ, act like complete idiots and have everyone be merry and wish you a Happy Australia Day.

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Oh best thing ever…is yelling at someone for doing something “un-Australian”…when…ur not even Australian. Perfect example is when someone breaks a drink glass or just starts spilling their drink…Hey…you yell…that’s un-Australian 😉

Anyway…onto the main event.

So I decide…it’d be a good idea to not have anything to eat and head right on the drink(hey…at first I thought it was a good idea)

Now…it was off to drink with the Australian friends of unsurmountable entertainment timez.

We meet up…drink…get many free drinks for myself…have a game of sandle wars(or thong…for those australians)we…begin to destroy the small bar…learn the LEEEEER(needs to be showed via video…but basically acting like the biggest creep when a hot chick walks by)…soon get bored and move on to KFC.

Now this deluxe taxi ride…was something else. First we get picked up by an Indian guy with curry stains down his front. Then my outstandingly polite friends begin to harass the driver about his sex life…hahaha…just the way the guy went silent was priceless…(Think Apu, type accent) “Who me?….Sex?…sexy time…thank you cum again”

Now…its KFC timez….

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The six of us roll up to this tiny ass KFC…immediately start harassing the till person…Deputy Daniel I think his name tag read…anyway…after distracting him…one of the guys sneaks behind the counter…past the cameras and STEALS…right in the open a bunch of chicken burgers…nice…free meal. Grab those…get some fries and drink and begin to munch away.

A manager emerges from the depths of doom and questions us on who went behind the counter…we shrug and reply we didn’t see anything, holding back fits of laughter. The manager stands there looking like a wilted turd…then replies…oh…ok and goes back to the dungeon.

So we then leave an enormous mess, steal a KFC chicken bucket as a souvenir war helmet and leave the premises laughing hysterically.

MMMM YESSS….best birthday meal ever…just wished I filmed some of this shit.

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Next was the long walk back to the bar…where we hassled every girl we came by…yelled at any mingas(fugly chicks)…hassled the employees in a Thai restaurant and even stole a girls summer hat(hey it looked good on me…but she did come back and collect)

Finally we arrive back at the bar…buuut soon the fun games started wearing off and the male libido started kicking in. After a few dull interactions I decided to head to an Australia Day BBQ.

Got more free drinks…ate tons more food…watched fire works…went to some house party where I got even more trashed…saw some great views…yelled after chicks…”its my birthday time to fuck” and basically…called it a night.

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It was more then enough fun in two days then I could’ve wished for…basically it was like a two day combined party with a birth attached.

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I originally planned to celebrate my B-Day in Byron Bay…but…I was sure glad it was here. I had a blast…met tons of great people…(maybe would’ve liked to meet some a bit more…if you know what I mean)drank a shit ton…and even stole from KFC. Not too shabby for being on the other side of the world.

Now…I can go to VEGAS…

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One Response to “Australia Day…Birthday…what more to say”

  1. was quite a day dude. glad to hear you enjoyed your bday 😉

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