Baffling Brisbane Part 3

Well, I sat here pondering for a few minutes trying to come up with something witty to start off this week, but fuck…I can’t think of anything.

Ooooo, just checked out this chick sitting beside me…not bad…I’m just gonna talk to her , hold on a sec…………………………………….well…I’m back, she’s Irish…can’t fucking understand her…more like good from a far, buuuut…far from good.

And there we have it folks, lets start the show.

So since, this week only had a few odd jobs of interesting, I decided to give you all a small taste of my novel I’m currently working on.

Just testing it out a bit, and going to see what people think, buuuuut before I do that, let’s get to this past week.


I originally thought, this week was going to be a wash. For one, nothing exciting planned…no unprotected sex…no streaking…no explosive diarrhea and the E trip…well…it’s a story for another day. Still…for some strange reason, unique things seem to seek me out…aaaand…this is what found me.


Who wants to ride?

Who wants to ride?

I’ve read about these types of conventions…huge in the U.S, especially in Vegas and L.A where the “Woodies” are held(like the oscars, just for porn) Anyway, I just happened to stumble on the sign leading the way(no thankfully I didn’t fall over and hurt myself)…I took one look…looked again…rubbed my eyes and said…seeeexpo?


Now I didn’t go there for the same reason as the star trek nerds, or the weird fucking guy wearing the black trench-coat. I went there to make contacts…yes…I said it…it was more educational then anything.


I know what you’re thinking…and NO…I do not want to be a porn star…actually far from it…I want to be a porn director 😉

(ya…just let that sink in)…all right…we good?… anyway…I used to joke about this shit, but after talking to a director and producer, I’m actually very interested. Much more opportunities back home….there’s just soooo much money to be had at the hands…or palms…of all the perv’s out there. And don’t get me wrong…if you saw my name over the title of some high end porn…be real…you’d buy it…hey now *shaking fist* don’t act like you wouldn’t.

After talking with these guys about the possibility of jobs, where to look, how to get in, who to talk to, and other “real life” type questions, I had enough info to go on my way and peruse the stands.


Well shit…it’s there, might as well sample.

One thing I found…not as much “Adult” content as I hoped for…mostly just shit like oversized dildo’s, outfit’s and body oils. There were only three stands that offered real pornstars,

The reason for this? Australia (especially Queensland and Victoria) have harsh laws against adult types of material, therefore they can’t have all the models walking around topless or offer the live porn as they would in Sydney or Perth…guess someone can’t handle their porn.

A redhead...imagine the odds

A redhead...imagine the odds

Aside from the assless chaps, strip poker, a hot red head doing a pole dance, and just seeing how far I could get with the porn stars by saying really fucked up shit. I had my fill of SEXPO.

I gallantly skipped home thinking of the possibilities there are in the porn industry and where I would start.

Definitely the highlight of my week.


Now…onto a part of my book.

[Note: you need to listen to the song at the start of the blog…it’s what makes this story]

Junior High, I was beggining to ease in. Still nervous, still unsure where to fit in….and consistently….awkward.

Aside from a few mishaps in class…I seem to be doing alright for myself…there are a few girls, I somewhat notice, but making a move, yikes…that just wouldn’t work, but I’ve heard mentions of a dance coming up…I’ve never been to a dance, I wonder how that’ll work out.

Should I ask someone to the dance? Or just show up? Hmm…I have no idea how these things work.

[Day of Dance]

Oh my shit…I’m so fucking nervous…what the fuck am I going to do? What do I wear…HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DANCE.

I meet up with some friends…we have all brought our cans of food so we can get into the dance cheaper. Some of the guys are talking about who they are going to slow dance with. I remember dancing with a girl once, but not sure if it was slow or fast…hmmm.

Being guys…we go do the normal “guy” thing…stand against the wall and just watch.

I’m confused in what to do, so, basically the best bet in these situations is…to do…nothing.

A cute girl walks past me and smiles, I’ve seen her before, but I decide it’s best to avert eye contact in these types of situations…so I turn away…now I’m facing…the wall…wheee…this is fun.

Later on I somewhat loosen up, I commence dancing, or more of an uncoordinated retarded shake…I start having a good time…then…A SLOW SONG.

It seems everybody, but me gets a parter, and starts…gulp…touching each other. My friends are dancing with these gorgeous girls…um…what should I do? Do I remain here in the middle, where my friends left me? I think that would be the best, that means they’ll find me when they’re done and we’ll go back to doing…whatever we were doing.

good logic.

After a handful of slow dances pass…I learn that its not the best to stand in the middle of the dance floor…especially by yourself… guess its weird.

Still haven’t experienced this phenomena called the “slow dance”. Yet, this one girl keeps looking at me…what’s her deal? What does she want? I’m completely confused.

Eventually the girls friend comes up to me, tells me something along the lines that the girl likes me and I should ask her to dance. Um…why do I need to ask her? Lets just meet here and do the dance, but the girl insists. So I decide if it will stop this weird girl from staring I’ll do it.

Slow song commences…I walk over…I’m sweating bombs, nervously rubbing my hands together, but still, when I asked, the girl accepted.

I look around to see what others are doing…oh…the guys hands go around the girls waist. I slowly and shakingly place my hands on the girls body. Hey this isn’t so bad, but what now. I decided to stick with what I do best…nothing. The girl helps me out in the actual dancing part. Wow…it’s just back and forth, slowly…hence the name…slow dance.

I end up dancing with that girl all night…then finally…the song.

“Better off Alone”

A very unique song for a unique night.

I’m doing my best awkward dance…probably a mix of the robot, turrets and wild shakes…pretty much the base of my dancing now a days.

I end up loving this song, for some reason the beat or the tune just connects with me.

I’m looking at the girl…she’s looking at me…we start dancing closer…I’m feeling really good.

I notice the girl getting this “strange” look in her eye. Geez,what’s that all about I think.

The girl slowly inches closer…I continue to shake…closer…I’m unsure what she’s doing…closer…my mouth gets dry…

our lips touch…

My mind begins spinning faster then…uh…a fast spinning thing.

she breaks it off, smiles at me and leaves the dance area…I was standing frozen for about 5 minutes, with this stupid look on my face, the rhythm of the song blasting through my body while everyone continues dancing around me.

I don’t even know her name.

Am I in love?


One Response to “Baffling Brisbane Part 3”

  1. DynaMike Says:

    cool part of your story!

    porn director.. 😀

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