The Pornstar, Gay Night Debacle

One of my friends just got kicked out of the club we were going to enter…pretty gay…but I didn’t realize how gay this scenario was until…I stepped inside.

[Just to note: I have nothing against gay clubs or gay people…in fact they are alot of fun…I’m just not gay, nor want to be…but I do want a bi girlfried…soooo what does that make me?]

(Ya the above link is the gayest song ever…funny as hell when south park makes fun of it tho)

It was last Sunday night(already finished the day’s post…so fuck it)

After the friend got kicked out, before he even got in, we all decided to split up as I had never been to one of Brisbane’s best clubs…The Family.

Yes…even if it is one of Brisbane’s best…it still has a few…ahem…awkward nights…this was one of those nights…called FLUFFY.

If you can notice from the title…it’s juuuust a little gay…and to tell you the truth…you’d be correct. It’s full on GAY night at Family.

is that roofio?

is that roofio?

Walk in through the doors…sweet place…good beats…chick DJ…two guys making out…big dance floor…uh…hold on a sec…back that up…big dance floor…nooo…two guys making out…hmmm…keep moving.

Then I clearly take a look around…well then.

I quickly spot two hot lesbians make out…then I don’t feel so bad…say to myself that there’s always bound to be hot single straight chicks here…and hit the dance floor.

My other buddy spots these two hot chicks up on the podium…One’s a blonde and the others a brunette. They are hot…I’m now over the gay situation.

Fluffy timez

Fluffy timez

Eventually, it looks as if the blonde may be a man…great body…but hold on a fucking second…yup…that looks like a mans face.


I turn around and immediately spot a straight chick…chat her up and begin to dance. She’s somewhat into it, but I can’t really get shit going…I then feel some hands brushing against my back…WTF…I turn around, there staring me in the face is a super flamer…with a really gay look on his face…ya…NO…I walk away from the gauntlet of gay and to the side.

This is where I notice the PORNSTARS.


As I mentioned last week, I went to SEXPO…talked to a few people and recognized these chicks.

They were scantly clad and movie their bodies like they made money with them…oh wait…they do.

After a furry of sweaty bodies…ripped guys bumping eachother with their shirts off and the awkward piss in the mens toilet, I returned to the dance floor to see one of the craziest things I’ve ever witnessed live.

Two pornstars…one tall chocolately chicks and one gorgeous blonde.(and not the male blonde)

The blonde is wearing the tinniest little black skirt…hugging her body in all the best ways.

The chocolately is just moving her body and being very sexual…then out of no where.

WOOOSH…the chocolately gets behind the blonde…pulls up her skirt…bends her over…gets on her knees…aaaaand.

Starts eating the blonde chicks ass out…RIGHT THERE ON THE DANCEFLOOR.

I’m frozen

I don’t know weather to be extremely excited or grossed out. I’m in sexual no man’s land

There me and my buddy stand…watching this scenario unfold infront of our eyes…with everyone else bumping and grinding around the club…

This is too much stimulus for me…I roll up my jaw and exit the dancefloor to get some space.


I leave my buddy with some chick and am now on the top floor over looking the whole club…standing…by myself.

A huge muscly ripped, male model type dude walks by and stands beside me.

I’m not concerned.

I just continue watching the happenings down below, shaking my head and laughing to myself. I spot two nasties making out…the guy beside me yells get a room…I laugh.

The dude introduces himself…my gaydar doesn’t go off…this guy’s just a normal dude.

We chat about nothing for a bit…theeeeen.

Sooo…where you from?

I’m not totally sure…I tell him.

He says a lame comment about my country.


So, you gay, bi or straight.

DING DING…we have a winner…come on down folks looks like we may have hooked a gay.


I chuckle to myself and say straight…just tell him I’m hear to take the straight chicks off his hands.

The dude laughs at this…and then I get awkward and leave.

Hey…atleast the dude didn’t beat around the bush and make it any more awkward then it already was.


A few other notable parts of that night…when I was chatting up this older brunette chick, and I just casually throw out some comment, and she mentions that she’s a man…hmmm…ya…well…ahem…better be hitting the old dusty trail.

Aaaaaaaaand…sometime during the night, on the dancefloor my buddy dances past one of the platforms that has a gay guy on it.

My buddy has his hands raised in the air, the gay guy, takes this as a sign of invitation and attempts to lift my buddy on the platform. The look on my friends face was priceless. He turns around and motions with his harm that he’s straight. The gay guy doesn’t take the hint…he goes in again. My buddy swats him away and dances off.

The flamer makes a limp wristed jesture…I laugh hysterically on the dancefloor…man gay people are funny.


One Response to “The Pornstar, Gay Night Debacle”

  1. I can’t believe you didn’t continue watching the girls tossing eachothers’ salads. Pussy!

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