The Sydney Connundrum Part 2

I rarely get hangovers any more now. Not sure if this is something to be concerned about or to be proud about. The one thing I do know is, when I get a hangover…its a fucking doozy.

Braaaahggggg…I have the worst shits right now its un-believable.

I remember hearing a funny story from a biology teacher once. He said, that in the Womb, when the fetus gets the rush of testosterone to change it from that weird flabby fleshy alien creature into a male, The Knack’s My Sherona is playing.

Hmmm…if that’s true and later in our history its proved that people are born gay rather than a choice…what’s playing for them? Purple rain by Prince?


If you read last weeks post then you would have noticed, it was alot more laxed.(if you missed it check it here) And you know what…it felt pretty good. Buuut like all good things, there’s always that little demon voice that wants it a little rougher a little harder and always crazy…oh…you guys don’t have that…he he he…ya…uh…neither do I. I mean…that…that was just an example.*looking around awkwardly*

Aaaaaaanyway bitches this week was a full bundle of randomness.


The sun was a blazing…the birds a chirping and I went a strolling across the enormous Sydney Bridge.

Yes its a big piece of steel that has hundreds upon thousands of vehicles traverse it everyday, but its also got an incandescent view of the Opera house and circular…ugh…quay.


I wasn’t done with some magnificent photo opportunities, as I returned during the wee hours, between 5:45 and 7pm to catch one of the magnifying pictures of the day…wait for it…waaaait for it…THE SUN SET…….damn…I was hoping it’d be a little more thrilling then that.

Still this is a picturesque view as the sun sets right between the opera house, the enormous bridge and the city and blah blah blah…la dee da we have a picture. Alright, are you as bored as I am having to read that shit as I am at writing it. Sheeesh you’d think the history teacher decided to teach lessons again.


*Cracks neck from side to side…stretches arms out in front and takes in a breath*

Hey Ho let’s Go

After pushing back plans for some time I was finally able to meet up with a good friend of mine, Rosemary for dinner. Food, chat’s and drinks later we ended up making our way with another group to a Karaoke bar…or actually room.

Here we batted away hords of squabbling asians, a few crack heads and Abraham Lincoln…until we finally got a booth.(it seems just that much more exciting instead of me writing waiting…don’t you think?)


Once inside this creepishly dark room with a bunch of strangers I decided to pick my first song of the evening.

Hmmm should I go with a classical love ballad, maybe some Disney…oh wait…how bout Some sugarhill gang…oh…they don’t have it.

Alrighty then…Bad Touch it is.

Unfortunately I didn’t realize I was on the verge of loosing my voice, coming down with a cold and not in signing mode…soooo ya imagine a bunch of stray cats getting run over by a squeeky breaks car and an opera singing type lady screaming a high pitched NOOOOOOO. Ya that plus Darth Vader and you’ve got me.

To say the least…they cut my next song short.


Therefore Rosemary and I bailed from this NO FUN ZONE and decided not to pay either. Yessss free sing songs.

And this my friends, was just the beginning of a grandescent week of debauchery.

The following day I met this British guy at the hostel and we decided to try and win $100 at a quiz night. After getting our pre-goon drink on we headed out, joined a group of cute brunette chicks and slowly but surely end up loosing the game. With the drinks a flowing there wasn’t much answering going on, buuut I did manage to get the Zoolander question…ahhh yeah.


After losing the quiz and me yelling at the winners calling them cheaters, we made friends with this huge guy from New Zealand. This bohemith enjoyed our company and decided to repay us by buying 4 Jaeger Bombs each. Aaaand soon there after, the party started escalating out of control.

I decided that I hadn’t danced in awhile so I ended up going on the complete empty dancefloor and put on my rendition of Thriller meets the Melbourne Shuffle. The results…DANCEFLOOR WASN’T EMPTY MUCH LONGER


Soon boredness set in and we headed off in search of epicness. Now just to point out, normally I’m the one that gets belligerent and starts causing problems, however the british guy was out doing me at every turn.

I’d throw a glass…he’d throw two…I’d skip in line…he’d push people out of line. I’d steal a handful of straws…he tipped over the container holding everything. Ya you get the idea.

Still the best was when he came up to me and said, “We should double team that chick” talking about a girl that I had met earlier.

I thought…hmmm…never double teamed a chick…why the fuck not start tonight. Only thing…this chick had no idea.

Started off same ol same ol. Me chatting with the chick…moving things forward and trying to get a feel with how this will work out. I had the chick laughing and what not, therefore I decided to leave her with the british guy as I took a piss…bad idea.

I get back and see the chick storming towards me. Sweet I think to myself…he might have got this to work. Then she gets closer…oh shit…I’ve seen that look before. I drastically look from side to side to try and find a way out…shit…trapped.


Girl: What the fuck you sicko…that’s disgusting
Me: Uh…what?
Girl: You’re “friend” over there told me what you wanted…yeah…not happening
Me:(trying to come up with something clever)
Girl: *storming off*

I look across the club…see the british guy giving me the thumbs up. I shake my head and decide I’ve had enough for one night.

Astonishingly enough…the british guy hasn’t had enough.

On our way back to the hostel he attempts to persuade a hooker to have sex. Realizing he doesn’t have enough money…he yells after me asking if I can lend him some…or if I want to partake.

[no pic available…too grotesque]

Since I am a good guy at heart…I drag his sorry ass away from the manly looking hooker and into McDonalds for some well deserved drunkenness food.

mmm BIG MAC(no that wasn’t the name of the hooker even though I think it would’ve been fitting)

Next week…Free concerts, hopefully golf aaaaand whatever happens…happens.


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